Leading Integrated Healthcare

Relationship problems

Dr Brian Kaplan on Relationship Problems

Relationship problems are perhaps the greatest source of unhappiness in the Western world. People in healthy relationships are able to tolerate much adversity in life while tremendous wealth and success in your career will not make you happy if you are lacking loving relationships.

In the area of sex and relationship there are two main problems:

  • You are in a relationship but it is not fulfilling.
  • You are not in a relationship but would like to be in one.


Provocative Therapy has helped many people with Relationship Problems

I’m amazed at how many men and women suddenly find themselves in sexless unexciting relationships – whether they are married or not. This happens because couples let things drift and things left to drift tend to drift downhill. So they get bored with each other, maybe have an affair (which has its own way of causing pain!) or maybe just resign themselves to living as flatmates who may or may not also be joint carers of children. Horrible but true.

What Provocative Therapy offers

Ideally, I work with both partners, but in some cases, only one of the partners may be willing, in which case I work with whoever turns up.

Provocative Therapy utilises different strategies to enable people to recognise the ridiculous, the absurd and the unfair, as it may be ‘acted out’ in a relationship. By giving me permission to have a no-holds-barred satirical conversation about the relationship, the couple may see the funny side of how they are letting their relationship slide and what they need to do to remedy the problem. Although there may be a lot of pain in the relationship, this process can help clarify issues and offer creative approaches to resolve difficulties.

Some couples however are not meant to be together but then why are they still hanging on to the relationship? Provocative Therapy is an excellent mediation approach in helping a clarification process. (As well as minimising lawyers’ fees in this negotiation) 4- 6 sessions of Provocative Therapy usually sorts couples out one way or another.

Again, the use of DVD to film the session enriches the process but this is optional.

Finding a partner

One of the greatest causes of unhappiness in our time is loneliness. And there are millions of people of all ages who are lonely. Many young people in their 20’s and 30’s are desperate to be in a relationship not to mention that they feel sex-deprived. The number of times I’ve heard the line: ‘All the decent men are taken.’ But as a doctor I know there are many lonely single men too!

I am amazed at how well Provocative Therapy works for this problem. Results can be measured objectively because a good result is a successful relationship and I’ve been invited to weddings as a direct result of a short intervention of Provocative Therapy!

So far, so good…

The key process is to use reverse psychology to get the patient to see exactly what they are doing to prevent them meeting someone suitable.

Provocative Therapy, through its innovative use of different provocative tools, can connect you to your potential and help you get what you want in life.


Provocative Therapy: It can be fun

I had a lot of fun in those sessions, I felt they were very enjoyable - the lightness and laughter of it made touching on uncomfortable and painful issues easier, and the benevolence you bring to the process (aka Unconditional Positive Regard) was palpable.  I could see how the strange mental-emotional convolutions that happen when experiencing the inner friction set up by the provocations would over time promote real change.

Experiencing Provocative Therapy

Provocative Therapy has had a significant and ongoing impact on me. The session itself forced to the surface a few truths about myself and my life which I had previously been reluctant to admit to myself. That I found helpful and enlightening. However the real shock came when I watched myself on film afterwards. I was rather dreading having to view myself, especially in such an open and vulnerable position. But nothing prepared me for the shock I had when I firstswitched on the tape. For the first time, I think ever, I was able to view myself objectively. It was not like looking in the mirror or seeing myself on film; never before had I seen myself interact naturally like that. I was surprised how pertinent the contradiction was between the idea I had of myself and how I really appeared. This initial jolt certainly had the most impact but now I’m grateful to have the film so that I can revisit it whenever I need to. Each time it’s almost like going through another session. It forces me toreally look at myself and listen to what I’m saying and to understand that there is a difference between my own, often warped perspective, and the truth in front of me. Louisa Gamon - London